He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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