he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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