After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
