apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
