I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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