She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
