You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
only if we run a train.
done.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
