I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
