I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You're like the curious george of whores
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
