Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
