thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
