hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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