Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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