I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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