so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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