I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
