someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
