Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
