office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
