Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
