We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
