A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We left the knife in your bed.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Randomize
