but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
