if you like me you must not know who I am
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
