no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
