it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
