The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It's shark week go big or go home
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
