when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
