how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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