Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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