I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
