she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
