see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
