I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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