she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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