So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I'm passing your future prison.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
