Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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