I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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