I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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