the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
