i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
