how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
