So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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