How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
