The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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