I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
