Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
