her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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