She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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