I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
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