Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
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